Don't Start the New Year Without Asking Yourself These Questions
Happy December! Dude. November was a rough one over here. It felt like every aspect of my life had some drama in it – how about you? Did you feel that way too?
But good news – November is over and December is here! I love December. And not just because it’s my birthday month, it just is the coziest month. Lots of down time, things get a little quieter. At least that is my intention. You might be like “are you crazy? There’s all the shopping and expectations and running around like maniacs.
Here’s my challenge to you – slow down intentionally this month. Look for quieter moments. Don’t force it. Let the mania of the holidays bounce off you like you are protected by a force field. I know that I can get crazy at the holidays and this year I am really watching myself. Being aware when my thoughts start to creep toward “I need to buy all the presents for all the people!”, or “Everything has to be perfect or the entire universe will fall apart if we don’t have the picture perfect holiday”
It’s exhausting. And I don’t want to go into 2020 exhausted. So it’s a quieter, mellower, December for me. How about you?
Today I want to talk about an exercise that I did as a way to close out the year. It’s a great exercise to do on a quiet weekend afternoon or one of those nice quiet nights I was just talking about.
So often this time of year goes by in a blur and then we get dropped into January with it’s resolutions and intentions and we expect everything to be completely different. Yeah. No.
You can’t go into the new year expecting it to be a brand new chapter until you finish this one. Last year, I talked about making a list of all your accomplishments from the year and if you haven’t listened to that episode, you definitely should because I still do that exercise as well. And I think it partners really well with this one. But this one goes a bit deeper.
For this exercise you are going to be asking yourself 3 questions. You can think of a specific goal you had for 2019 that you want to reflect on or you can break it down into specific areas of your life like we did with the accomplishments workbook last year (which you can still download here). It’s totally up to you – there’s no wrong way!
I even created a little workbook for you to help you out. Click below to download yours today.
The first question is “What worked in 2019?”
Our brains always want to look for problems to solve, but this question forces you to look for the good. Did you sign up for some dating apps and meet someone special? Did you lose a few pounds? Maybe you cleaned out the garage or dedicated space for your in-home gym. Did you move to a new city? You planted a garden. You got a new job or quit a job that you hated. You redid your website. Did you meal prep? Maybe you started a new self care practice or mended a broken relationship. These can be as little or as big as you want. But they should be focused on what you did. So if you managed to get your nails done every month, you can say “prioritized self care and kept my monthly nail appt. You really want to phrase it in a way that gives you ownership.
Now your brain might try to answer you and say things like “Yeah, you set aside time to write every day but you didn’t finish the screenplay” or “yeah, you left that job you hated but then you didn’t find a new one for months”. This is actually helpful – thanks brain!
Because for the second question, you are going to ask “What didn’t work in 2019?”
This question lets you pour out all the negative stuff in your brain. All the reasons why things didn’t work out. Every little thing that tripped you up this year. Write it all down. Maybe the babysitter move and you lost reliable childcare. The car died and you had unexpected expenses. Clients were no-shows. Everything you planted in the garden died or got eaten by rabbits. Put it all down.
And in order to go a little deeper, you can ask yourself why when appropriate.
So if you set aside time to write, but didn’t finish your writing project – ask yourself why. What didn’t work there?. If you wanted to lose 10lbs and lost 5, why?
The final question is where the rubber meets the road. What will you do differently in 2020?
This is where your brain gets to do what it loves best – solve problems! Your brain wants to solve problems. And when it can’t, it spins and spins. By answering the question “what will I do differently?” it helps your brain calm down and do what it loves to do – solve a problem. Once you do that step, it can stop obsessing about everything that didn’t work in 2019. It’s like “oh right, we solved that – don’t need to stress about it any more”.
Look at what worked. Look at what didn’t. What do you need to tweak or change in 2020 to make it better than 2019?
I love this exercise for so many reasons. It forces you to see the good. It lets you get all the bad out of your brain and down on paper so you can look at it objectively. And it helps you create a plan for moving forward. Which is very comforting to your brain. And whose brain couldn’t use a little bit of comfort??
I do this exercise all the time and it really helps. I did it after dates when I was dating, I do it after consults with clients. I do it at the end of the month as a way to evaluate my business. I even do it at the end of the day sometimes when I can feel my brain just spinning.
OK, my friends. Your action for this week is to set aside some time to do this exercise. I also recommend doing it with an eye on the last decade. What worked and what didn’t for the last ten years? What are you going to do differently for the next ten?
When you do the exercise, post to Instagram or Facebook and be sure to tag me!Ok friend, have a great week and I will talk to you soon!
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