Why Time Management Tools Aren’t Working For You
Happy September! I hope you all had a nice long weekend. I certainly did, I took last week off to tend to some family stuff and some podcast stuff. This little show is going through some growing pains and while they are all exciting, there is still a lot to be done behind the scenes and Mama needed a week off. So I took it!
But I am back and super excited to wrap up our time management series. Over the course of the last 4 episodes, I have talked about how we think about time is how we experience time (if you think there isn’t enough time, guess what? There will never be enough time), and the three steps to eliminating overwhelm once and for all. I told you why multitasking doesn’t work and how I use time blocking to map out my week instead. And I shared my secret for getting a shit ton of work done in just one day per month. If you haven’t listened to those episodes, you definitely should! And if you have, I would love to hear your thoughts on the series. Shoot me an email or leave a comment on Facebook or Instagram. And if you are enjoying the show, please share it with your friends and family!
This week, I am going to talk about why all the time management hacks in the world won’t work for you unless you do one thing.
That’s it – you just have to do one thing. Easy right?
The number one and ONLY thing you have to do in order to have more time and get your schedule under your control is you have to decide that you are worth your own damn time.
If your schedule is crazy and you don’t have time for yourself, then I can guarantee that your day is filled with things that you think other people expect of you.
You are giving your time to everyone else. You’re giving it to your partner your children, that one friend who is always in a crisis. Or the committee chair that always seems to need something and you are the only one that can do it (Newsflash: you’re just the only one that always says yes)
And there’s a million other things that you are giving your time to but it’s not yourself. Because you don’t feel like you are worthy of your own time.
And until you do that until you decide that you are worth it, you will always struggle with time management. There’s no time hack in the world that will work for you. There’s no system. There’s no planner. There’s nothing until you say I’m worth it.
It’s all going to follow from that decision.
You have to value your time and your commitment to yourself above anyone else.
Yes, that means putting yourself first. It’s hard for women to do that – believe me,I know. I am working on that EVERY DAY.
It feels weird carving out time for ourselves, I get that. As a recovering people pleaser, I know the discomfort that comes with saying no or telling someone “I don’t want to do that” or “this is more important to me”.
But if you are struggling with time management, it comes down to you not honoring yourself and your time. When we people please or think other people’s time is more important, then we will agree to a lunch or volunteer shift or a project, even if that means it cuts into time we had set aside for ourselves – to work on our dreams.
Until you decide that you are worth it, you’re always going to put other people ahead of you.
So I can record a bunch of podcasts and give you the things that work for me. You can buy a bunch of planners or download apps but none of it will work until you decide that you are worth your own time.
As long as you keep putting people above yourself, as long as you keep accepting the crumbs of your own time then you’re never going to achieve your goals. You’re never going to get the whole cake. And dammit – you deserve that whole cake!
This has been key for me as I work to find a system and schedule now that I work from home. I just decide. Every day. I decide every day that my dream of a six figure coaching business is worth it. I decide every day that I am worthy of my workout time. I decide that I am going to do the things I said I was going to do. Some days those decisions are harder than others!
Decide today to stop breaking promises to yourself. Decide today that unless it is an actually emergency (like with blood!), that you are not going to break your schedule. It can’t be a wishy washy, I’m going to try. Let’s see what happens.
You have to decide. Because you can invest in all the planners you want. You can read 4500 time management articles and sign up for 38 webinars on time management, but until you decide that you come first, that you are worthy of coming first in your life, then none of it will matter.
If you have kids, I understand the urge to say, they come first. But they don’t. Because without filling your cup first, you have nothing to give them. We have all seen the airplane safety video about putting on our mask before we can help someone else.
That is exactly what this is. You have to give yourself time before you can give it to someone else.
You might be thinking “easy for you to say!” AND it’s easy to say but can be a bit harder to practice. And you will have to practice it.
But think about the alternative if you don’t decide you are worth it. Your dream will continue to remain just that – a dream. You will never make any progress on it. You’re always going to be lamenting that you don’t have time. Your calendar will always be about what other people want from you and not what you want and need for yourself. You will come to the end of your life and wonder where the time went because you never took any for yourself.
Decide today. Decide that you deserve time for you.You deserve the hour of your time to go to the gym. You deserve the 10 minutes to meditate. You deserve the time it takes to finish that screenplay. Or organize your closet so that you feel peaceful when you open that door.
You have to fully commit, no matter what to yourself and your schedule. It’s not optional.
This means, going to bed when you say you will. This means waking up when you say you will. This means trusting that what you are doing right now is enough. So often we run around like chickens with our heads cut off because we want to prove to people that we can do all the things. Stop that. Start proving to yourself that you can keep your word TO YOU. Because you are 100% worth it.
If this idea of putting yourself first seems scary or you are resistant to it, I can relate! My entire life I have avoided seeming selfish. I would defer to other people in order to please them or to seem like a “good person”. I let what other people wanted or needed dictate my schedule and my life. Hell, I still struggle with this! It’s one of the reasons I am doing the #75hard challenge – which I am going to talk about more in next week’s show so be sure to tune in. Let me just assure that you that putting myself first on my calendar is something I am still working on. I still have all sorts of thoughts that come up whenever I go to block out time for my business or my health. And here’s what I do…I grab a journal or a notepad and I write down those thoughts that come up as I create my schedule. Try this right now if the idea of putting yourself first or saying no to requests is making you anxious. Write it all down – get it all out of your head and then really look at those thoughts. I like to ask myself 2 questions about my thoughts. The first one is “is this really true?”
Are a really a bad mom if you don’t volunteer at your kids school? Will your marriage really suffer if you pursued your dream job? Will you really lose all your friends if you make a lot of money with your awesome business idea?
Then I ask myself “how could this NOT be true?” and I make my brain come up with evidence to disprove the thought. For example, “being a good mom has nothing to do with how much time I volunteer at school. So and So doesn’t volunteer at the school and she’s a great mom!” It really helps me separate out the facts from my thoughts.
And then I decide all over again that I am worthy of my own time. It’s a daily process for me but it does get a little easier each time you decide and each time you keep a promise to yourself, you’re building that worthy muscle!!
If this seems too hard to do on your own, send me an email at hello@lizheron.com and let’s talk about how I can help you build your worthy muscle and get control of your calendar!
Because until you decide that you are worthy of your own time, worthy of coming first in your life, then you will continue to struggle with time management. As with most things in life, you are the problem and the solution. The problem is you don’t think you are worthy of your own time. The solution is for you to decide that you are worthy of your own time.
Ok friends- have a great week and I will talk to you next time!